3 Things About Direct Response Copywriting That Drive Some Nonprofits Crazy

Effective copywriting for direct response fundraising is — well, I’ll just say it — weird. It’s completely different from academic or journalistic writing, and it has three qualities that tend to get under the skin of the people in nonprofits who review and approve fundraising.

1. Good Copy Is Simple

That means short words, short sentences, short paragraphs, sentence fragments, contractions, beginning sentences with “and” and “but,” and ending sentences with prepositions. All of these create the conversational tone that builds rapport with donors. Remember, this isn’t a term paper. This is a letter — either mail or email — from one person to another. It should sound like that. 

One more thing — do not use jargon. That means no insider terms that only the nonprofit staff would understand, no sociological-sounding terms like “food insecurity” or “community members without permanent housing.” And in hospital fundraising, for example, instead of a term like “percutaneous coronary intervention,” you simply say “heart surgery.” 

The reviewers may think it’s too informal, but plain talk — simple, direct and conversational — is what engages donors. 

2. Good Copy Is Repetitive 

“You say the same thing over and over.” That’s a common reaction to fundraising copy. Point taken. But repetition is important for two reasons.

First, the more you repeat an idea, the more likely the reader is to remember it and accept it as true. So, if you want your donors to come away thinking that, for example, homelessness is rising, make that point repeatedly.

Second, most donors don’t read a letter from beginning to end. They dip in and out, looking for something of interest. So for that reason alone, you want to repeat key points that might grab readers’ attention, and you especially want to repeat the ask, generally once or twice on each page. 

3. Good Copy Is Dramatic

To break through the clutter, copy has to have drama. But then it’s called “over the top” and “too dramatic.” It’s a misguided criticism, and to prove it, just watch TV.

In a TV spot for Cadillac, seemingly normal people on a city sidewalk suddenly acquire expressions of beatific rapture as they turn (in cinematic slow motion) to swoon at the sight of the car slowly passing by. Sun glints off the windshield. The pedestrians then gaze in admiration at the driver, who reveals a barely perceptible yet knowing look of pride and status.

Cadillac is merely selling cars, but it pulls out all the stops without hesitation. We’re saving lives, transforming lives and changing the world. If anyone should use every dramatic effect possible, it’s fundraisers.

And yet, copy like this in a medical appeal is deemed to be over the top: 

Jane was out riding her bicycle, enjoying a sunny afternoon, when out of nowhere, a car slammed into her. The impact flung her into the air like a ragdoll. She landed with a sickening thud. She lay there on the pavement. Her pelvis broken. Her hip shattered. Her leg dislocated. Her sacrum, sternum, ribs and shoulder fractured. A piece of glass from the car window stuck in her. And she was bleeding internally. 

Copy that might shock, anger or evoke some emotion is often toned down, and that’s too bad. Along with the well-meaning concerns about “othering” victims, “poverty porn” and the like, there’s this: If we aren’t engaging donors emotionally, then we’re not bringing them into our cause. And we’re probably not winning their support either. 

Bottom line: You can’t apply the grammar-school rules of English composition to fundraising copywriting. If your appeal reads like an academic treatise or a corporate memo, or if you’re being too cautious and draining all of the life out, you’re not connecting with donors. You’re doing something far worse. You’re boring them. 

Don’t believe it? Testing will prove it. Friendly, conversational and informal beats stuffy, academic and pedantic. Yes, copywriting for direct response fundraising, when it’s done right, may well be weird and may upset the grammar police and may sound casual, but when it comes to connecting with donors, that’s what works.

The preceding post was provided by an individual unaffiliated with NonProfit PRO. The views expressed within do not directly reflect the thoughts or opinions of NonProfit PRO.