How Fundraisers Can Escape the Perfectionist Trap

Fundraising is one of those professions where there is a scorecard, a tally of wins and losses. It’s a constant reminder of what’s at stake. Our success depends on getting it right and that can trigger perfectionist tendencies.  

Martha Stewart, the queen of all things domestic, is a self-professed “maniacal perfectionist” and claims to be successful because of this trait. On the other hand, Serena Williams, one of the best tennis players of our time, wrote in a Vogue essay: “I want to make it clear that perfectionism is an impossible goal and should never be a true pursuit in life.” 

Who’s right? Is perfectionism helping or hurting us? 

Are You a Perfectionist?

One way to determine this is to ask yourself these questions: 

• Do I put off contacting a new prospect because I can’t find the right way to introduce myself?
• Do I spend an inordinate amount of time polishing a letter or email before I send it?
• Have I delayed meeting with prospects because I need to address other (sometimes less important) stuff on my to-do list?
• Do I put off asking a donor to support my cause because I can’t find the ideal project, settle on the exact amount or come up with the perfect words to ask for a gift?

If you identified with any of these, you may be getting caught in the perfectionist trap.

And you are not alone — perfectionism is on the rise. In a meta-analysis comparing perfectionism across generations, researchers Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill found significant increases in recent undergraduates compared to students in the 1990s and 2000s. 

Not surprisingly, perfectionism exacts a high toll on our emotional health. It is linked to a host of clinical symptoms: depression, anxiety, self-harm, agoraphobia, eating disorders, insomnia and chronic headaches. 

And it messes with our self-esteem because we know we’re not nearly as productive as we need to be. We’re submitting fewer proposals, not meeting with nearly enough people, and asking less often than we should. Instead of feeling like a master of the universe, we feel like a failure. And it could be a fear of failure that’s really behind this need to be perfect.

Researchers have found those who strongly fear failure have a composite of two personality characteristics: low achievement orientation (that is, they don't take much pleasure in their accomplishments or in meeting goals) and high test anxiety (fear of not performing well at crucial moments). In other words, their anxiety about failing is greater than the satisfaction they would receive by gaining something. These tendencies also drive perfectionism. So, success is not about doing something good; it’s about not doing something bad.

5 Tactics to Help You Let Go of Perfectionism

Yet, as Williams pointed out, perfectionism is an impossible goal. So how do we pull ourselves out of this quagmire? 

1. Ask Why Perfection Is So Important

Look closely at why you need to get things right. Has this been a pattern since childhood? Do you fear disappointing others? Are you worried about being embarrassed? These anxieties can slow you down, perhaps even immobilize you. Ask yourself if they are worth the toll they’re taking on your happiness and performance. 

2. Aim for Healthy Achievement

Although Williams may not be a perfectionist, no one would accuse her of being a slacker. High achievers strive for excellence and place a high value on accomplishment. What if she never made it onto the tennis circuit because, in her mind, her backhand still needed improvement? Or what if she refused to compete because there was a chance of losing? 

Recognize the difference between perfectionism and healthy achievement. Healthy achievers are interested in growth and self-improvement. They have adaptive coping mechanisms and can weather set-backs. Perfectionists, on the other hand, notice every hiccup and show less resilience when coping with obstacles.

3. Set Realistic Goals

Corporate skills trainer Matt Plummer recommends creating a checklist before beginning a project. Identify a few measurable goals and, once you have completed them, accept that your work is done. Then move on. This will reduce the tendency to dwell on distractions, such as choosing the perfect font or compulsively proofreading your piece. 

4. Accept the ‘Good Enough’

If you are seeking to curb your perfectionist tendencies, try to strike a balance between your very best effort and the level of “good” the project requires. Once you’ve set a reasonable timeframe and checked off your goals, accept that your project is complete — it’s good enough. 

5. Celebrate Your Success

Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, remind yourself of what went right. Note accomplishments, both small and large, and celebrate these victories along the way. 

Author Brené Brown describes perfectionism as a 20-ton shield we carry to protect ourselves from hurt. Isn’t it time we dropped our shields and led a happier, more productive life?

The preceding content was provided by a contributor unaffiliated with NonProfit PRO. The views expressed within may not directly reflect the thoughts or opinions of the staff of NonProfit PRO.