How a 'No' Becomes a 'Yes'

This really helped. When I started thinking about how my attempts to do something, which would often end in failure, were really stepping stones to success, I was able to try more things, brush off failure and focus properly.

So, back to the no topic. What is a no? Nothing more than a doorway to a "yes."

Another wise person once said that a no is a door closing so we can turn our attention to the open door. You know, that door that is hanging open there behind you — the door you can't see because you are so focused on the door closing or closed. That door.

Once I embraced this concept, I realized that no's are my friends. They provide a learning. They give me wisdom. They shine a light on my path so I can figure out where to go.

And so it is with both of these things: failure and no. They can either be these huge monsters in our lives or the gifts that they truly are.

So as you're looking at your work in major-gifts fundraising, think about this. Are the no's getting to you and stealing your spirit and drive? Is your fear of failure immobilizing you to where you just feel stuck? Why not reframe a no and failure in your thinking so you can truly see them for the good friends they are.

A "no" from a donor can mean so many things:

• No, not now.
• No, not that.
• No, wrong amount.
• No, I have an issue.
• No, I have other priorities.

What a wonderful thing to find out which of these it is! No matter the answer, there is a positive benefit to each no. Either you get the timing, project, amount right. Or, you find out there is a problem you can repair. Or, you find out there is no longer interest. This is great! Now you know what to do! Wonderful!