Stress may actually help us thrive. This probably isn’t what most nonprofit leaders want to hear right now.
Executive orders, funding uncertainty, economic pressures, staffing shortages and rapid technological change have created extraordinary challenges for nonprofit leaders. If your instinct is simply to hunker down until the storm passes, you’re certainly not alone. But what if your stress mindset — the beliefs you hold about stress and what it means — could actually help you lead more effectively?
Stress mindset isn’t just an abstract concept. It’s something many leaders have practiced intuitively for years.
I’ve seen leaders live that out long before scientists had a name for it. One longtime community leader I admired served on multiple boards and founded several nonprofits. She recently passed away at 104. She endured profound loss, including the sudden death of her 18-year-old daughter and, decades later, her beloved husband. She grieved deeply, but she didn’t let grief define the rest of her life.
Instead of retreating, she leaned into her strengths and focused on the people and values that still mattered. She helped build organizations, strengthened her community and inspired generations of volunteers and nonprofit leaders. Looking back, I realize she wasn’t extraordinary because she never experienced stress. She was extraordinary because she refused to let stress have the final word.
Over the past decade, psychologists have been studying this “stress mindset.” These beliefs, it turns out, influence not only how we feel emotionally, but also what we notice, the actions we’re motivated to take and even aspects of our physiological response.
In other words, stress isn’t just something that happens to us. How we interpret it shapes how we experience it.
Stress Is Often the Emotional Price of Caring
That’s what fascinated me about this research. It doesn’t tell us stress is pleasant. It doesn’t suggest we should simply look on the bright side or embrace what psychologists call “toxic positivity.” It doesn’t deny that some days are genuinely overwhelming. Instead, it offers something far more practical.
It suggests that while we can’t always control the circumstances creating our stress, we have more influence than we may realize over what happens next. That matters, because stress is often the emotional price of caring. If you didn’t care deeply about your mission, your staff, your donors, your volunteers or the people you serve, you probably wouldn’t feel nearly as stressed.
The challenge isn’t to stop caring. It’s to keep your caring from becoming paralysis. This is where the research becomes especially encouraging.
Psychologists distinguish between distress, which leaves us feeling threatened and depleted, and eustress — the positive experience of rising to meet a challenge. As Dr. Alia Crumv, a Stanford psychologist, explains, your body’s stress response wasn’t designed to kill you — it evolved to help your body and mind rise to the occasion when something important is at stake.
That’s a remarkably hopeful idea for nonprofit leaders. Perhaps stress isn’t always a signal that something is wrong. Sometimes it’s a signal that something important is asking for our very best.
How to Turn Stress Into Purposeful Action
How do you keep stress from hijacking your thinking and instead use it to become a calmer, more effective leader? That’s where the research gets especially practical.
Crum and her colleagues at Stanford Mind & Body Lab have developed a simple three-step process for reframing stress that doesn’t ask us to deny reality or suppress our emotions.
1. Acknowledge your fears honestly.
2. Reframe them by uncovering what those fears reveal about your values.
3. Utilize them by channeling the energy of stress into constructive action.
Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always. But like most things worth practicing, it becomes more natural over time.
When You’re Afraid to Make the Ask
Whether you’re a seasoned major gifts officer or an executive director wearing the fundraiser hat, most of us know that anxious feeling before making an important ask.
Your stomach tightens. Your mind starts writing stories:
- “What if they say no?”
- “What if I’ve ruined the relationship?”
- “What if I’m simply not good at this?”
1. Acknowledge the stress. Don’t argue with those feelings. Name them plainly: “I’m afraid this donor will say no.” “I’m afraid I’ll take it personally.” “I’m afraid we’ll fall short of our goal.” Simply putting words to the fear often begins to loosen its grip.
2. Reframe the stress. Consider what this fear reveals about what you care about. For example: “I welcome this stress because it reminds me how deeply I care about this mission. I want this donor to experience the joy of making a meaningful difference. I want our organization to have the resources to serve more people. I also care about doing my job well.” Nothing has changed externally — the donor may still decline — but internally, the stress has shifted from being evidence you’re inadequate to evidence you’re deeply invested. Stress is no longer your enemy. It’s proof that this matters.
3. Utilize the stress. Put that nervous energy to work by preparing thoughtful talking points, reviewing the donor’s interests and practicing opening the conversation. Then, make the call. You haven’t eliminated your fear. You’ve simply refused to let it make the decision for you.
When Funding Feels Uncertain
Now imagine you’re lying awake worrying about your organization’s budget. You’re afraid revenue won’t meet projections. You’re wondering whether staffing or programs may have to change.
1. Acknowledge the stress. Again, name the fear plainly: “I’m afraid we’ll miss our funding goals. I’m worried about what that could mean for our staff and the people who depend on us.” Simply saying it out loud can keep your mind from racing ahead to worst-case scenarios.
2. Reframe the stress. Notice what this stress reveals about what you value. For example: “I welcome this stress because it reminds me how deeply I care about our employees, our clients and the mission we’ve all committed ourselves to.”
3. Utilize the stress. Decide on one concrete action that protects what you value. You might convene your board to brainstorm new revenue opportunities, reconnect with major donors you’ve been meaning to call, launch a focused campaign around a pressing need or simply begin having honest conversations earlier rather than later. The circumstances haven’t changed, but instead of letting fear dictate your next move, you’ve let purpose lead.
That’s the real power of reframing. It doesn’t erase stress. It changes your relationship with it.
Leading With Purpose, Not Panic
Notice that neither example changes the circumstances. The donor may still say “no.” Funding may still be uncertain. What changes is the leader.
Instead of allowing stress to dictate the next move, purpose becomes the guide. That’s where resilience begins.
What if stress isn’t your enemy? What if it’s simply evidence that you care deeply about your mission, staff, donors and the people whose lives depend on your work? Stress stops being something to fear or eliminate. It becomes something to understand — and use.
The goal isn’t to become a leader who never feels stress. That’s unrealistic. It’s to become the kind of leader who knows what to do with it. The nonprofit sector needs leaders who can transform stress into compassion, courage, creativity and action.
After all, philanthropy has always been an act of hope. And if stress is often the emotional price of caring, perhaps the answer isn’t to eliminate it. It’s to cultivate a stress mindset that reminds you why your work matters — and then use that energy to move hope forward.
The preceding content was provided by a contributor unaffiliated with NonProfit PRO. The views expressed within may not directly reflect the thoughts or opinions of the staff of NonProfit PRO.
