The Donors Are Waiting (For You)

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Hardly a week passes without an article appearing claiming to offer the Google Maps or MapQuest directions to the land of serious—and unbelievably generous—philanthropists. These benighted and enlightened individuals are known in the fundraising world as “major donors”, “principal donors”, even “the big kahunas.” That last moniker makes my skin crawl.

The conventional fundraising wisdom is if we only have the right map coordinates and secret handshake, we’re in. And so, our fundraising challenges will miraculously evaporate. Countless webinars, short courses and workshops claim to offer this treasure map.

Well I’m here to tell you this tale is half right. It’s not the half you imagine, however.

Earlier this month I had the distinct pleasure of being one of 30 fundraisers invited to participate in an invitation-only, three-day conclave of 200 top-wealth advisers, philanthropy advisers, family office executives and philanthropists.

We were treated to world-class speakers, intimate discussion groups, and the best philanthropy planning and financial advice money can buy. All these in the low-key, informal atmosphere and protective boundary of an outstanding resort. Jeans-casual giving, I’ll call it.

It was a heady—and revealing experience. Those attending formed a who’s who of the philanthropic world. It was name-brand philanthropy at its finest.

It was also very enjoyable and rewarding. I made a number of new friends and reconnected with a few longstanding ones. I always enjoy the company of well-motivated and strategic thinking people. They both inspire and motivate me.

I learned new things, and reconfirmed some of what I already knew. I’ve been asked to help plan next year’s gathering and am very much looking forward to it.

So what really goes on at such a donor powwow? For those of you who may be just a bit curious, allow me to draw back the curtain a bit on the mystery.

First, donors are, by definition, generous people. Yes, that’s right, “generous.” The first dictionary meaning is “characterized by a noble or forbearing spirit, magnanimous, kindly.”

They’re generous in small things as well the big. They defer to you when you’re seeking a seat in a room. They listen attentively and solicit your opinion before offering theirs. When making a gift, they don’t need to be cajoled, pitched, sold, panhandled or ambushed.

They decidedly do not appreciate being presumed upon, however, nor seen as simply “funders” to a cause—yours or any others’.

They do want to be considered of value for the persons they are—not the money they have. They do expect to be treated as investors, not check-writing machines.

And—as I’ve said many times—philanthropy for them is definitely not about the money. It’s about the realization of a vision through their values that they simply cannot buy—at any price. It’s about the burden of resources they often feel to use what they have wisely.