Oddly Precise Nonprofit Predictions for 2008

Year of the MONKEY
Someone will say your direct-mail program mails too much. There will be wide agreement and, like a snowball dropped at the top of an alpine slope, the opinion will gather momentum and following until you have no choice but to cut back on mailings. This will be followed by a quick and corresponding drop in revenue, the cause of which will be an utter mystery to nearly everyone.

Year of the DOG
A very expensive series of focus groups will reveal some startling truths about your donors, including:

■ They hate paper.

■ They are allergic to the color red.

■ They are embarrassed to see their names in print.

You’ll have used up your research budget on the focus groups, so you won’t be able to act on these findings — proving that sometimes being underfunded is a very good thing.

Year of the PIG
Key leaders at your organization will be unable to make decisions. On the whole, this will be a good thing.

Year of the SNAKE
Your fundraising and marketing departments will become locked in a turf battle over an exciting new program. Someone in leadership will attempt the old King Solomon trick — “Let’s just divide this budget between you” — knowing that doing this will render the program functionally dead. Both parties will agree to this course of action.

Year of the TIGER
A donor will complain about something in your fundraising. You will retool the entire program to make sure you never get that particular complaint again. The thousands of donors who didn’t complain will vaguely wonder why you aren’t talking to them anymore. But with many other giving opportunities in front of them, they’ll quickly forget about you. Soon after, the donor who originally complained will complain even more vociferously about the changes you made. A quick check of your database will show that this donor’s last (and only) gift was six years ago: $5.