3 Wrongs in Fundraising Writing

In copy from someone who had just returned from an African country that was experiencing severe famine, I once wrote, "My heart broke when I held that child who was so obviously dying from hunger." The letter signer objected and told me, "My heart doesn't break; I feel moved ..." I'm sorry, but when you talk about holding a dying child, you need to show some real emotion. Your reader needs to feel your agony and want to do something to prevent one more needless death.

This isn't an argument to have an emotional breakdown in the copy. But don't leave the usual human feelings out of your copy. Your donor wants to relate to the letter writer, and the right words can help make that happen.

Of course, in fundraising as in life, we have to choose our battles. But read your copy and see if you have included any of these "wrongs." Are you willing to fight to right even one of them and see if writing to the right person, about the right person and from the right person can improve your income?

Pamela Barden is the creative juice and the copywriting machine behind PJBarden Inc., a consulting firm focusing on helping small to midsized nonprofits see big results in fundraising. You can follow Pamela on Twitter @pjbarden.